


clandestine

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 10:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Marry me when you get back.”





	clandestine

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> i'm  here  if u need to scream about this shit *disgusting winks*
> 
> also i've read this fic a thousand times already and if u still see mistakes... let them be.... rip

 

_This_ , Jaebum thinks as the corner of his lips automatically curves up at the sight of Jinyoung and the shrill excitement from the time in between his drive from the airport and to the restaurant leaves his chest as warmth covers all spaces inside him not occupied by thoughts of Jinyoung, _is what I miss every time you’re not beside me_.

Jinyoung is still a few good strides away from Jaebum, but he feels the younger’s warm welcome as he stands up graciously, his hands kept to his sides but seeming like a gesture reaching out for him with the way the corners of his eyes crinkle with fondness. Once he reaches Jinyoung, the younger kisses the corner of Jaebum’s lips, holding the lapel of his coat. In the short span of time when Jaebum is within Jinyoung’s breathing space, he feels the soft smile that punctured the kiss, and the smile that overtakes Jaebum’s face feels involuntary.

Like a reflex reaction. A necessary response to Jinyoung’s own.

“It’s been so long,” Jinyoung teases, his tone and words pushed out of his lips like a practiced script.

Jaebum scoffs, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes.

 

\--

 

“It’s been so long,” Jinyoung said the moment Jackson left the corner booth with Mark, their two friends getting swallowed easily by the crowd and the neon lights and the intoxicating scent of booze.

“Yeah,” was the only response Jaebum could utter, his eyes uncontrollably going over Jinyoung’s choice of clothes. For an actor with a rather innocent reputation to uphold, Jaebum didn’t think Jinyoung could go out in those illegally ripped jeans that hugged his legs indecently. He’s seated and the bar is dark, alright, but Jaebum definitely heard Jackson whisper _that dude totally checked Jinyoung out_ to Mark even before they stepped foot inside.

Jaebum’s blood boiled at the memory, and he tried to look unaffected, but Jinyoung’s next words told him he failed miserably.

“Do I look bad?” Jinyoung asked a second after, definitely noticing Jaebum’s frown as his glance lingered on his lower half. His tone was going for a light teasing, but Jaebum heard the offended undertone of it.

Jaebum looked up, and as he did so, his eyes passed upon Jinyoung’s layered clothes—something the younger usually did on and off camera, but even with all those layers, Jaebum was still bothered by the amount of skin exposed.

“Not really,” he grumbled, standing up and leaving Jinyoung dumbfounded on their booth. He went straight to Jackson, interrupting the clothed sex going on between him and Mark.

“This better be important,” the blonde said, eyes irritated.

He tilted his head towards the general direction of where he just left Jinyoung, and told Jackson, “Keep an eye on him for a moment.” And then Jaebum was out of the door, locating his car parked outside. Once spotted, he opened the trunk and took the one thing he always brought with him.

There were lazy days when Jaebum couldn’t be bothered to wear anything more than his hooded jacket, but always keeping one in his bag was mostly for Jinyoung as the younger always whined about being cold. But tonight, despite the sticky feeling that the humid summer night brought, Jaebum reentered the bar and approached Jinyoung with quick steps, the younger’s lips pouted as he went on whining about something to Mark.

Jackson spotted Jaebum first, and when he saw what Jaebum had in his hands, he exhaled a grunt. “Damn, this overprotective freak.”

He pretended not to hear the rest of his tirade in favor of wrapping Jinyoung up, his jacket two sizes larger and greatly covering him. Jinyoung’s frame looked small with how wide the jacket hung over his slimmer body, and from repeatedly making Jinyoung wear his jackets, Jaebum knew the length would at least go past his mid-thigh.

A triumphant smile stretched out on Jaebum’s face, before he’s leaning down to whisper in Jinyoung’s ear, “What do you say we get out of here and walk around? It’s been so long since we last strolled.”

Any traces of childish petulance were gone from Jinyoung’s face in an instant, his aura beaming as he nodded repeatedly to Jaebum’s invitation.

 

\--

 

“You were so busy,” Jaebum says as a waiter comes and gives them the menu. Jinyoung asks for a wine, and as they’re waiting for it to arrive, Jaebum starts an easy conversation. “I’m so glad I was able to take a few of your spare time tonight, Jinyoung-ssi.”

Jinyoung, despite the composed and ideal demeanor he puts on every time he’s out in public, balls up a tissue and throws it to Jaebum’s face.

“What happened to maintaining your image?” Jaebum says as he fakes injury, holding the spot in his cheek that Jinyoung hit.

“I’m with you; I don’t need to be ideal,” Jinyoung shrugs nonchalantly. Jaebum is caught off-guard for a moment, but when Jinyoung smiles gently at him, showing him no signs of pretense with him in the perimeter, Jaebum can’t help feeling soft.

“If only your fangirls can hear you.” _They’d melt_ , is what usually follows the remark, but he leaves it unspoken. And so is the: _I should know, because I’m melting right now as I’m hearing you_ , which always come unheard by the younger.

Jinyoung sticks his tongue out in childish response, and Jaebum laughs a little before he reaches out across the table to touch the curly ends of Jinyoung’s hair that’s getting too long, tucking a few strands behind his ear.

 

\--

 

“I’m paying,” Jaebum exhaled in frustration as Jinyoung dragged him out of the elevator and towards Jackson’s unit, his feet doing their best to resist Jinyoung’s pull, their footsteps heavy against the hallway. “I don’t want to date you in your manager’s apartment.”

Jinyoung stopped pulling him for a second to face him completely, and for a moment Jaebum thought he saw Jinyoung reconsider their date venue, but then the younger was pulling down his face mask before he said in a small voice vindictively, “We have no choice.”

“Why?” Exasperation was spilling out of all of Jaebum’s pores.

“Because,” Jinyoung explained, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly as he tried for a word that would fit his explanation, before he settled with, “I have an image to uphold.”

 

\--

 

As the waiter serves them the wine and asks them of their order, Jaebum fiddles with the end of the long-stemmed carnation he handpicked and bought on his way for Jinyoung, his eyes focused on the freckles of the white flower—akin to the little moles dotting Jinyoung’s face, adorable and prettifying him aplenty.

Jaebum isn’t picky with the food he eats, but it always bothered Jinyoung that he just randomly points out food on the menu to the waiter, the two of them always a tad bit surprised at what gets served on their table. And so it has always been like this: Jinyoung picking out the place where they’ll eat _and_ the food they are going to eat, and Jaebum will pay.

When Jaebum retells their friends their adventures in restaurants, he always jokingly says he’s spoiling the world’s most controlling brat. But really, deep inside, Jaebum just revels in the warm feeling Jinyoung’s smiles give him as the younger watches him devour happily whatever he orders for Jaebum.

 

\--

 

Once, Jinyoung almost spent a good chunk of his savings for something Jaebum ordered blindly during their dinner.

It was a rather stupid accident, but that foolish incident almost caused them to pass out on their table upon seeing the bill, the waiter suppressing the frown that wanted to start up in his forehead.

“Sirs?” the poor man called, pulling Jaebum and Jinyoung out of their stupefied states. Defeated, Jinyoung handed his card to him, and when the two of them left the restaurant with Jinyoung a little bit poorer than he was when they entered the place, they were silent.

Once inside the car, Jinyoung’s laughter crowded the vehicle. It was boyish and unadulterated, very much ungracious, and Jinyoung wouldn’t be caught dead doing this laugh on camera, but he was, now, and Jaebum heaved out the sigh he was holding.

At least Jinyoung wasn’t mad at him for being stupid.

“God, you’re so stupid sometimes,” Jinyoung voiced out bluntly once done with his laughing fit, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I was telling you, lamb meat was expensive. But you insisted!”

“Its name sounded good when you said it,” Jaebum replied sheepishly, wiping the tears off Jinyoung’s eyes.

“Ah, so obsessed with me.”

“I know,” Jaebum surrendered, “but you should’ve let me pay for the entire thing.”

“It was my turn to pay,” Jinyoung answered, telling Jaebum to start the car before he ran late to his schedule. “But after today, I’m not letting you choose your food without my consent. Especially on dates when I’m paying! At this rate, you’re going to get me broke.”

Jaebum grinned lopsidedly, his jaw clenching at the held back laughter. This didn’t go unnoticed as Jinyoung hit him hard on the chest, and Jaebum laughed out loud for a good five minutes before leaning down for a kiss on Jinyoung’s cheek, finally revving the car alive.

 

\--

 

Jaebum hands Jinyoung the flower after the waiter leaves, and if Jaebum thinks that the flower blooms a bit more with the way Jinyoung smiles brightly in response to him, then no one needs to know how hopelessly romantic he is.

“You always give me things,” Jinyoung says, playing with the petals of the flower with his nose.

Jaebum leans on the table, resting his chin on the soft flesh of his palm. There’s a fond smile curving his lips as he takes in Jinyoung’s face, realizing just how much he missed the younger man after not seeing him for three years. “It’s just a flower. I could’ve picked it outside this building for all you know.”

Jinyoung raises his eyebrow in his direction before he rolls his eyes, biting his lip to hide the soft smile adorning his lips. “But you didn’t.” Jaebum knows that Jinyoung doesn’t need an affirmation, but he still hums in reply.

 

\--

 

“I know you have a lot of money now that you’re a big shot in your field, but that doesn’t mean you can just buy me a car out of nowhere!” Jinyoung freaked out, eyeing the brand new car at the parking area of his apartment building.

Jaebum hugged Jinyoung from behind, hiding his face at the soft area at the bottom of his neck. Jinyoung was breathing raggedly, perhaps from an indescribable shock, but that’s one problem Jaebum couldn’t do anything about. Unless he would take back the car, which he wouldn’t. “It was mom’s idea.”

“Jaebum.”

“She saw some news, and then she started sending me photos of cars that would look good for you, and really, I wouldn’t buy this without asking you if it weren’t for her.”

_Some news_ , Jaebum huffed internally, anger slowly forming a lump in his throat. He was just playing it cool, but he was actually ready to sue those fans who nearly assaulted Jinyoung when they saw him at an unannounced schedule. He was out on a café waiting for Jackson to pick him up when an onslaught of fans came for him.

And really, if Jackson weren’t a close friend of theirs, Jaebum would have fired him for (slight) neglect of duty.

 

_“Hyung,” Jackson pleaded on the phone when Jaebum called him after hearing of the news from his mom, “you can’t sue me! I was at the agency because of an urgent matter, and I was late because of the CEO!”_

_“Then I should just fire you.”_

_At this, Jackson huffed indignantly. “You didn’t even hire me.”_

_“_ Jackson _.”_

_“I’m soooooorryyyyy. I won’t let it happen again!”_

“I can’t make you take this back, can I?” Jinyoung asked, and Jaebum would lie if he said he didn’t feel triumphant at the defeated sigh that Jinyoung heaved.

Jaebum nodded.

“It’s not even my birthday,” Jinyoung continued, turning around to hug Jaebum properly in his own subtle way of saying _thank you_.

“I don’t need an occasion to give you gifts, now do I?”

 

\--

 

“I feel like I’m in a _mukbang_ show with you staring at me like that,” Jinyoung notices as he looks up from his food, wiping his mouth of invisible stain. Jaebum doesn’t waver; instead he puts his chopsticks down to stare some more at Jinyoung’s face. “Yah. _Stop staring_ ,” Jinyoung threatens, although the grin playing on his lips betrays him.

“I always stare at you. You should get used to it,” Jaebum mutters matter-of-factly, as if staring at Jinyoung doing normal things isn’t out of the ordinary. “And besides, don’t you do staring contests with your leading ladies in dramas, anyway?”

“That’s different,” Jinyoung pouts, but Jaebum just shrugs.

 

\--

 

“Tell him he can do the scene,” Jackson pleaded, and Jaebum thought he could see him kneeling, even. “Tell him to take the role for the movie! It will pay big, and I will get paid big, too, and really, the plot wasn’t so bad _so please_ tell your boyfriend to take the role.”

“And how is that my decision?” Jaebum growled, a bit annoyed that he woke up in the middle of his slumber to answer a call from Jinyoung’s number just to hear Jackson’s incessant begging. “Go beg on your knees for that model instead. What was his—“ Jaebum pretended to pause and think, “—ah, daddy, right? Jinyoung told me that’s how you—“

“You fucking introduced Mark to me so don’t pretend you don’t know his name, and shut up!” Jackson screamed, before a series of shushing followed on the other end of the call. “Jinyoung won’t take the role.”

“Can you send me the script? I might be able to convince him if I have a bit of an idea what this is all about.”

“I can’t,” Jackson groaned. “You don’t need to read the whole script to give your approval, anyway…”

“I still don’t know why I have to approve of anything. You’re his manager, isn’t this supposed to be your job—“

“There’s an explicit sex scene,” Jackson interrupted Jaebum’s rambling, and he probably stopped his breathing too in that short outburst.

“Oh.” Illogical thoughts started flooding Jaebum’s brain, but he decided against minding all those. “Are you worried that he doesn’t know how to top since he always bottoms for me?”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Jackson said in that I’m-giving-up tone, definitely accompanied by painful tugging of his hair. “That’s not what I meant!”

Jaebum laughed, despite forced. “Give him the phone.”

“How did you harass Jackson this time?” was how Jinyoung greeted Jaebum, and there was a wailing on his end before he paid complete attention to him. “I haven’t made a decision yet, but if ever I’d decline, it won’t be because of the sex scene, just so you know.”

“But don’t you have an image to uphold?” Jaebum teased, and when Jinyoung cleared his throat, Jaebum turned serious. “You’re going to take it, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung said, honesty dripping in his soft voice. “I just want to tell you about it first, but Jackson beat me to it, so I hope you harassed him enough as payback.”

“I did well, I think,” Jaebum informed him, hearing Jackson’s cries of _HE HARASSED ME SO BAD I’M GOING TO SUE_ , which made Jinyoung laugh. “You know you don’t have to tell me things like this. I’m used to seeing you eye-fucking actresses, you know?”

“It’s different than doing the deed, okay,” Jinyoung retorted.

“Speaking from experience, Park Jinyoung?”

There’s a huff on Jinyoung’s end, before he mumbled something that sounded like _we haven’t even done it yet._

Jaebum felt like Jinyoung didn’t intend for it to be heard by him, so instead he just told the younger, “You know that I trust you, right?”

 

\--

 

“And how is it different?” Jaebum asks jokingly, their dessert being served as they continue chatting.

“Staring at you isn’t acting.”

 

\--

 

 “When will you stop spending so much, oh my god,” Jinyoung nagged as he entered the cinema with Jackson and Mark in tow, leaving the couple at the back seats and sitting beside Jaebum on the third row. “You were so _extra_ , reserving a whole cinema just to watch the movie.”

“I want to watch it with you,” Jaebum said, voice a bit complaining and lips slightly pouted. Jinyoung giggled, shaking his head as he took the seat beside Jaebum. “I couldn’t possibly watch this with you in public, now could I?”

They were silent whole time after the movie started until it neared _that_ scene. Jaebum knew it from how Jinyoung started squirming a few minutes back, and then how he’s trying to cover Jaebum’s eyes the next moment.

“What are you doing?” Jaebum questioned, trapping Jinyoung’s hands so they wouldn’t block his view.

“Don’t watch it.”

“The entire country watched it, Jinyoung. What difference would it make if _I_ watched it?”

“It’s different!” he insisted, but he was unable to do anything because the scene started rolling.

For one, Jaebum really admired Jinyoung’s bare body. It sounded sexual, but really, it was raw admiration with no hint of being sexual. He was beautiful—in and out, front and back. His bare butt didn’t have an exposure, and the rest of Jinyoung’s lower extremities weren’t something Jaebum hadn’t seen yet.

And Jaebum saw Jinyoung’s talent in acting in a different light as he went on with the scene without faltering—his lines delivered with overflowing emotions and his actions a reflection of his dialogues.

As the scene came to an end, Jaebum reached out for Jinyoung’s hand and intertwined their fingers, the younger squeezing his calloused ones once in a while.

And as the movie finished, Jaebum took Jinyoung’s face in his hands and kissed him on the corner of his lips, breathing an _I’m proud of you_ against Jinyoung’s mouth.

 

\--

 

After eating, Jaebum excuses himself to get a few things from his car, and once he’s back, he helps Jinyoung put on the thick scarf he brought, ending the cover up with a bucket hat that made Jinyoung pout.

“I _hate_ this bucket hat with a passion,” Jinyoung comments, and Jaebum flicks him on the forehead.

“Said the person who wears grandma pants on airports,” Jaebum retorts, pulling Jinyoung up from his seat after the younger kicked him on the shin. “It’s for your own protection, Mr. I Don’t Need To Cover Myself Up Because People Won’t See Me. Well, bad for you, because they will. And they will immediately recognize you.”

“And then Jackson will have to wake up to headlines of me dating Mr. Big Shot Photographer, because you’re as talked about as I am.”

“And then Jackson will lose his mind trying to do damage control for the both of us and _holy shit_ , why don’t you remove your disguise so we’ll know how Jackson will maintain his lifestyle without a job?”

Jinyoung laughs as Jaebum holds open the door for him, waiting for the latter before they walk towards Jaebum’s car, the younger’s arm snaking along Jaebum’s in an instant. “He has Mark-hyung, idiot.” They share a laugh at that, before Jinyoung speaks again. “Did you meet me straight from the airport?”

“I did,” Jaebum replies, his hands buckling Jinyoung’s seatbelt, “why?”

“Where are your things?”

Jaebum grins. “I paid a few people to take them to the apartment.”

“Few people,” Jinyoung repeats condescendingly. “You make it sound like Mark and Jackson aren’t our friends but your paid servant boys instead.”

Jaebum doesn’t say anything but laughs boisterously instead, leaning down to remove Jinyoung’s hat and kissing him on the forehead before he closes the door on the passenger side.

 

\--

 

“Interested?” Jaebum almost broke his neck at the rate he turned around when a bubbly voice spoke beside him, the shorter guy handing him a shot as he leaned against the railing on the second floor of the bar, overlooking the whole place filled of university students who joined the term-ender party.

“What?”

“You’ve been staring at Jinyoung-hyung for an hour now,” the person said, sipping from his larger glass. He didn’t sound drunk or even a bit tipsy, and one look at his drink made Jaebum scoff. The guy, whom he recognized as the vocalist of one of the bands earlier, was actually holding a glass of orange juice.

“Jinyoung?” It was probably the pretty guy who was sitting atop this person’s lap the moment he entered the bar, and Jaebum knew it’s rude to admit to the guy’s boyfriend that he was indeed drooling over said guy, so he chose to play dumb.

“The guy you were undressing with your eyes down there,” he laughed, before screaming cheerfully, “Hyungie! Jinyoungie-hyung!”

Enough playing dumb for the night. “Oh my god, I’m sorry for staring at your boyfriend, but you don’t have to humiliate me in front of the student body.”

There was silence, followed by a loud, wild laugh, one that could shake the whole building if it weren’t shaking already with the volume of the music.

At this point, Jinyoung was already looking up, forehead creased with a frown, before his eyes turned soft as the person beside Jaebum waved violently at him, motioning for him to come upstairs. “Jinyoungie-hyung’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” A small smile graced Jaebum’s lips, and the guy took notice of it already before he was even able to lower down his head.

 

\--

 

It’s been five minutes since Jaebum parked his car on Jinyoung’s apartment building, but Jinyoung still haven’t moved from his seat, just toying with the flower and looking straight ahead.

There’s a solemn smile on Jinyoung’s face, one that Jaebum always sees whenever Jackson drives him to the airport for an overseas gig. Jaebum usually hugs Jinyoung placatingly to calm him down, but now, he doesn’t. Instead, Jaebum pulls out a small velvet stringed pouch on the inside of his coat, taking Jinyoung’s balled fist softly in his lap.

Jinyoung stares at Jaebum, that same stare Jinyoung gives him whenever the younger is trying to decipher something that Jaebum does or says, and Jaebum just lets him as he plays with the charm bracelet on Jinyoung’s wrist.

“Remember when you called me old?” Jaebum asks Jinyoung, kissing the tip of his nose. Jinyoung scrunches his face and nods. “I think you’re right. I think I’m getting old now because younger people usually prefer to move around.”

Jinyoung stares at him. Jaebum smiles boyishly at him, pulling out another charm for the younger’s bracelet.

It’s a ring charm.

“But I… I just want to settle down.”

 

\--

 

Jinyoung was wearing his baby blue watermelon-littered pajamas when he opened the door to his apartment, his eyes wide and scanning along Jaebum’s body.

“Oh my god, are you drunk?” he gasped, yelling inside to call for Jackson. “Hold up, let me—“

“That idol you worked with,” Jaebum started, his breathing rushed and heavy, his hands shaking Jinyoung, “are you dating her?”

“What—who?” Jinyoung panicked, looking at Jaebum like he grew a second nose. “It was for an ad campaign,” Jinyoung explained slowly, like Jaebum wasn’t drunk but a kindergartner, “I told you that, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t.”

“But I told Jackson to tell you.”

“Why would Jackson know and I wouldn’t?”

“You being drunk make it hell to explain things to you,” Jinyoung complained, before sighing deeply as he proceeded on his explanations. “Jackson is my manager, you know that, right? So of course he knows everything I do.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” Jaebum pressed.

Jinyoung’s about to respond when Jackson grumbled from the inside, his growling a bit scary if only Jaebum weren’t drunk. “Goddamn it, fight inside. I can’t have anyone see you have a lovers’ quarrel outside and stir chaos. Jinyoung’s just starting and it’s always hard to do damage control for rookies,” he yelled, pulling Jaebum inside.

They were silent after Jackson dumped Jaebum on the couch, Jinyoung looking at him with concern-clouded eyes.

“I’m not dating her, Jaebum,” Jinyoung told him quietly, his hands moving on its own to brush Jaebum’s fringes out of his eyes.

“I saw the photos,” Jaebum told him. There’s a frown on Jinyoung’s forehead, so he continued, “She posted photos on Instagram.”

“Of us?”

“Don’t use such pronouns.”

Jinyoung giggled. “But there were photos?”

“Yes.”

“And… how did you find them? Were you searching? For my name?”

“That’s not the point.”

Jinyoung gave up on pressing further; instead, he removed Jaebum’s shoes and cleaned him up a bit, before placing him to lie down comfortably on the couch. When Jaebum’s eyes started drooping with sleep, he held onto Jinyoung’s sleeves one last time, whining, “You’re not really dating her?”

“No,” Jinyoung said, pressing a gentle kiss on Jaebum’s cheek, “and I won’t be dating anyone else in the future, so get some rest.”

The whole while, Jackson was watching the entire ordeal.

“Jinyoung won’t be dating anyone in this century because you’re such an idiot,” he told Jaebum once Jinyoung retired to his room, kicking him slightly on his stomach. “You’re an idiotic bastard and I don’t know why Jinyoung’s sticking with you.”

 

\--

 

“I just want to settle down with you,” Jaebum says, and before he can even say more, Jinyoung lunges forward and hugs him, before he feels hot tears against his neck where Jinyoung’s face is settled.

It takes long before Jinyoung calms down, his shaking hands taking the ring charm and staring at it under the soft glow of light inside Jaebum’s car. Chuckling a bit at Jinyoung’s disheveled state, Jaebum takes the charm and attaches it to the bracelet himself, planting kisses on the bracelet and on Jinyoung’s skin.

“I have one more surprise.”

 

\--

 

It had been six months since Jaebum left Seoul for the first time for an overseas project, but before he could even plan a night out with his college friends, the company was sending him again to Beijing, giving him a VIP pass to a fashion show where the elite Chinese models would work for the collection launch of a designer brand.

And that’s where he met Mark Tuan, an heir to a huge conglomerate who chose to be a model instead of anything else. _Because it’s my passion,_ Mark had told Jaebum, and their mutual drive to pursue their fashion sparked up a friendship between them.

When Mark found out he’s Korean, he asked to come with him when he flies back home, and that’s how Jaebum found himself being the Taiwanese’s tour guide once he got back to Seoul, even inviting Mark to Jackson’s party that allowed Jaebum a plus one.

There were a lot of people coming in and out of the party once Jaebum and Mark arrived, but he didn’t know his presence would be so known that half of the party even stopped to stare at him.

Or maybe at Mark, since Mark was a known model across Asia.

“They’re staring at you,” they both said at the same time, and they were sharing a silent laugh like as if they just exchanged a secret joke, until a venomous voice interrupted them.

“They’re staring at the two of you.”

Of course, it had to be Jinyoung. Of all first meetings he’d have with Jinyoung after he got back, it had to be like this.

He exited then, and Mark was dragged away by some journalists, and then Jaebum found himself in Jackson’s company.

“Jinyoung’s ass is jealous because he hadn’t seen you in a long time and then _suddenly_ you arrive at my party _with a date_.”

“You know it’s not like that.” Really, there’s no use in denying things to Jackson because who else would be Jaebum’s informant if not Jinyoung’s manager?

“I know, but I’m not telling him that,” Jackson laughed evilly, his voice echoing against the four walls of the place. “He deserves to suffer. After all the things he makes me go through for his career. That asshole. If only I didn’t see so much potential in him.”

“Aw, look at you being so soft for Jinyoung.”

“Don’t speak as if you don’t turn gooey at the mention of his name.”

“Really.”

Jackson smiled up at Jaebum sheepishly, but he only dismissed him as he watched Jinyoung walking around the party and stopping all servers with trays of shots in hand. “Nah, man, I’m just kidding. You’re the most amazing person on this planet. Now tell me about that model you were with.”

 

\--

 

“Oh my god,” Jinyoung exclaims as he exits the car and stares at the property in front of them. “Are you serious?”

Jaebum walks beside Jinyoung, their bodies facing the front of a pristine white house; the inside is dark but the outside is lit by the moonlight and the stars. He snakes his arm around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling him closer and kissing his temple. “Do you know what I first thought when Jackson talked to me about this land?” Jinyoung looks up at Jaebum, quietly asking him to continue. “ _I want to live here with Jinyoung_ , and I told Jackson that. And he was so happy.”

“Why would he tell you about this place and not me? I’m supposed to be his favorite person!”

“He told me we’re getting married anyway, so by rules of married people, you’ll own this property too sooner or later.”

Jinyoung laughs, his entire body shaking with mirth. “He’s always been so sure of us.”

“Even when we don’t know what’s going on yet.”

“Even when _you_ don’t know what’s going on yet,” Jinyoung corrects, before he runs away from Jaebum with a loud laugh and heads towards the door.

 

\--

 

**4:24 PM**

**Jinyoung:**

Hey.

Mom wants to know if you have any requests.

**_Read_ ** _4:26 pm_

**5:12 PM**

**Jaebum:**

Hey. I’m sorry for replying so late. I was finishing something

But I’m still in campus

**Jinyoung:**

Is that for your project?

Jaebummie. You don’t have to force yourself to drive here.

I can just tell mom you’ll have dinner with us next time, you know.

**Jaebum:**

I want kimchi

**Jinyoung:**

I’ll bring them to your dorm tomorrow.

Don’t stay out too late! And eat dinner after your meeting!

Don’t sleep on an empty stomach.

**Jaebum:**

What are you saying?

I’m on my way

**Jinyoung:**

WEREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT A MEETING

**Jaebum:**

The only meeting I have is with your family at 8 PM

Now stop texting me, I’m driving

**Jinyoung:**

What the hell, Im Jaebum.

**_Read_ ** _5:24 pm_

 

**7:36 PM**

**Jinyoung:**

YAH

IM JAEBUM

**Jaebum:**

Just how impatient are you to see me

**Jinyoung:**

Wonpil called me!!!!!!!!!!

He said Sungjin-hyung and your other groupmates were waiting for you!!!!!

**Jaebum:**

Their fault

I told Sungjin-hyung to cancel today’s meeting and just meet tomorrow

Maybe he forgot too

I told him when we met earlier today

Wonpil was distracting him too much that he wasn’t paying attention to me

So not my fault

**Jinyoung:**

DID YOU CANCEL FOR TONIGHT’S DINNER

**Jaebum:**

Yes

**Jinyoung:**

BUT WHY

**Jaebum:**

Priorities

**_Read_ ** _7:43 pm_

 

\--

 

A loud gasp exits Jinyoung’s lips before his hands fly over to cover them after Jaebum opens the door for him, the two of them standing on the doorway of the huge house.

“How is this real,” Jinyoung murmurs, walking inside and looking around, his eyes wide as he takes in his surroundings. “Oh my god.”

Jaebum holds Jinyoung’s hand and walks him around, the two of them passing by a huge white wall lined with photos after photos of Jinyoung, all framed and printed in grayscale. Jinyoung pauses to look at each of the photos, smacking Jaebum in the chest at his candid photos on display—which are a lot, honestly, because Jaebum loves taking them the most.

“Hey, I’m a photographer. What do you expect me to do?”

Jinyoung huffs, a playful smile gracing his lips. “At least take beautiful shots!”

“Well, if they don’t find your close up—“

“ _Zoomed in!_ ”

A laugh. “—photos beautiful, then they don’t know how to appreciate art.”

Jaebum knows Jinyoung will probably argue to put down the photos (and who’s to say that Jaebum won’t argue back that he’ll be keeping them up?) but for now, he quiets him down with a press on a button on the remote control, the curtains on the south wall folding in itself and the light on the veranda at the back opening up, showing Jinyoung a magnificent view of the ocean.

This is mainly the reason why Jaebum loved the place at first glance: the ocean always keeps Jinyoung calm, makes him feel at home. And Jaebum doesn’t want anything more than to make Jinyoung happy.

 

\--

 

“Oh my god, you’re so disgusting,” Jinyoung shrieked at his phone, taking Jaebum’s attention from where he’s shaving his face on the bathroom. “I’m hanging up, you asshole.”

“I’m guessing that’s Jackson,” he told the younger once he’s done, giving his face little kisses as Jinyoung started moving around the bed to find his comfortable place.

“None other than,” Jinyoung huffed, motioning for Jaebum to lie down. “He thinks we’re going to have sex, or whatever. He thinks weirdly, and I think he’s going insane.” Once Jaebum was down with a pillow on his back, Jinyoung laid down across the bed, his head pillowed on Jaebum’s stomach.

“He thinks we’re having sex every time you’re here at my place,” Jaebum shrugged, taking his own book as Jinyoung settled in his position.

“He needs to get laid,” Jinyoung commented, frowning when he saw Jaebum was going to reread a Murakami book once again, before he continued, “or else he’s gonna go bald stressing over our sex lives.”

“Our _nonexistent_ sex lives, you mean,” Jaebum quipped, and Jinyoung didn’t respond with anything but a wild laugh.

 

\--

 

“This is beautiful,” Jinyoung cries out, hands splayed on the metal railing barricading him from the shore.

“I know you’ll love it here,” Jaebum says, smiling. “It’s part of the plan, actually. So you’ll be forced to stay with me because I have the nicest place you could ever ask for.”

“So manipulative,” Jinyoung plays along, giving Jaebum’s arm a soft punch, before he leans down and rests his head on his shoulder. “I’ve always loved the ocean.”

Jaebum hums, knowing that for a fact. “And I’ve always loved you.”

Jinyoung hums, too, and Jaebum thinks he knows it for a fact, as well.

 

\--

 

“YAH. IM JAEBUM. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY JINYOUNG?!”

Jaebum was at the airport at three in the morning to catch his flight, calling Jackson to pick Jinyoung up from his place because he didn’t want to wake the younger up. And now, at nine in the morning in Seoul (and four in the fucking morning for Jaebum), Jackson called him, screaming at his ears.

“I did nothing, Jackson. We did not have sex, for god’s sake.”

“HE HAS RASHES. ON HIS FACE.”

“What?” There was alarm on Jaebum’s tone.

“Wow,” Jackson scoffed sarcastically, and he was probably rolling his eyes, too, a habit he got from being around Jinyoung for so long. “Like I’ve been yelling, he has rashes.”

“Have you brought him to the hospital yet? Can you send me a photo? What does it look like?” Jackson told him to give him a few moments, and in less than three minutes, Jaebum was looking at the photo Jackson sent him of Jinyoung’s face, and he couldn’t control the first thing that he uttered once Jackson was back on the call, “Oh wow, Jinyoung looks so good.”

“GODDAMN IT, FOCUS ON THE RASHES.”

Jaebum did, and he almost banged his own head on the wall as he realized what it was. “Don’t panic, Jackson. Jinyoung isn’t panicking, because he exactly knows what that is.”

“CAN YOU JUST FUCKING TELL ME BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND BECAUSE HE HAS A SCHEDULE AT ONE PM AND I’M FREAKING OUT AND JINYOUNG LAUGHING AT MY FACE ISNT HELPING MY PANIC EITHER.”

“Before you pass out, make sure to remind Jinyoung that the ointment is at the back of the first aid kit in my apartment. And put the ointment on him; don’t let him do it himself. He might poison himself by accidentally putting his finger lathered with ointment in his mouth, and he may pretty but he too makes mistakes that might cause his death so don’t leave him alone with the ointment.”

Jaebum could still hear Jackson lashing out on Jinyoung, the younger just dismissing him with a loud laugh. Jinyoung always obeyed the agency’s rules, but that never meant he wouldn’t make things hard for his manager. A few shuffling later, Jaebum heard Jackson speak to him again.

“Seriously, Im Jaebum? A beard burn? You couldn’t have shaved before kissing Jinyoung?” he deadpanned in frustration, before he added belatedly, “I know you’re so Jinyoung-deprived because of your back and forth traveling, but please shave first before making out! Goddamn hormones!” And Jaebum never knew, but maybe Jackson threw his phone on the wall in utter frustration.

 

(Or maybe not, as Jackson called a few minutes later for his payback:

“Are you sure it’s a beard burn? Are these not rashes from… your hair… _down there_?”

“What.”

“Are the rashes really from kissing… your lips? You sure it’s not from giving you a head or—“

“Go to hell, Jackson.”

Unfortunately, Jaebum wasn’t so quick in ending the call as he heard Jackson’s scandalously triumphant laugh for a second.)

 

\--

 

Jaebum has Jinyoung sitting on the railing for a few minutes, the two of them sharing a comfortable silence under the bright night and staring with unspoken awe at the bright reflections on the dark expanse of the ocean, before the younger turns around and wraps a leg across Jaebum’s torso, effectively pulling him closer.

“Hey,” Jinyoung whispers, fanning Jaebum’s face with his breath, and this is how Jaebum realizes just how little the distance between their faces is.

Jaebum murmurs a _hey_ back, and as he closes his eyes to bask in the proximity, Jinyoung leans down, and for the first time in three years, their lips meet again, plump against thin, and the ocean seems to be singing in their background.

 

\--

 

The first time Jaebum kissed Jinyoung on his lips, it was experimental.

An hour prior, they were playing games in Jaebum’s apartment with Yugyeom and Bambam – two trainees from Jinyoung’s agency whom the younger doted on so much for some reason – and it was Bambam who told Jaebum to do it, to kiss Jinyoung on his lips _because why not, hyung, aren’t you and Jinyoung-hyung friends so there shouldn’t be any meaning_ , but being friends with Jinyoung didn’t mean his feelings were platonic, too.

Thanks to Jackson who arrived late but always in perfect timing, the kiss didn’t happen, as the kids were reprimanded from drinking the night before an important vocal test.

It was a lie to say Jaebum hadn’t thought of kissing Jinyoung, but it was a surprise that Jinyoung was thinking of it, too.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“About what?”

“How it’d feel if we kiss,” Jinyoung mused, and Jaebum stopped putting on his sweatpants midway in shock.

“I kiss you on the cheek,” Jaebum told him.

Jinyoung locked his eyes on Jaebum, his stare daring. “That’s different. I kiss Bam and Gyeom in the cheeks, too. Even Jackson.”

“Are you trying to prove something?”

“Maybe.”

Jaebum, feeling himself falter inside with the intensity of Jinyoung’s gaze, walked with faux bravado towards Jinyoung, meeting him from where the younger was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay.”

Jinyoung looked like he was about to ask something that Jaebum didn’t know the answer to, so instead he just leaned down, his trembling lips meeting Jinyoung’s anticipating ones.

The kiss, albeit experimental, was gentle.

They didn’t talk about it even when they slept beside each other that night, and they never said anything when Jackson told them the next morning that, despite his young age, Bambam was keen of the people around him.

Maybe that meant something.

And maybe the kiss meant something, too.

 

\--

 

Jaebum’s hands hold Jinyoung by the waist to keep him from falling down; Jinyoung’s hands are everywhere, and Jaebum feels like he’s going to fall down.

Despite the violent movements of Jinyoung’s hands tugging and pulling and gripping Jaebum, his lips are gentle, as always. The kiss isn’t rushed; the kiss is breathtaking. It’s slow, their lips are feeling, and there is no ragged breath-inducing excitement; instead, there’s the feeling of home, the warmth that Jaebum always misses whenever he’s away and Jinyoung is someplace else.

The kiss gives Jaebum the feeling of coming home to where he belongs.

“I miss you,” Jinyoung breathes, his lips refusing to leave Jaebum’s.

“I’m not leaving again,” Jaebum replies, his fingers massaging Jinyoung’s nape.

A tear falls from the corner of Jinyoung’s eye, and then he’s kissing Jaebum again.

Gentle, always gentle, and this time, inviting.

 

\--

 

The first time Jinyoung kissed Jaebum, it felt territorial.

“How was the shoot in Thailand?” Mark inquired, his hands playing with Jackson’s feet splayed on his lap.

“Heard there were lots of hot girls in there, huh.” That one’s Jackson, always finding a way to push Jinyoung’s buttons.

There was a sarcastic laugh, and then, “Bet he had fun with them,” before he heard a loud thump on the kitchen island, Jinyoung putting down with force the vegetables Jaebum asked from him. When Jaebum looked for a second, Jinyoung’s closed lips were stretched in a forced smile, and Jaebum felt a shiver run down his spine.

“It was definitely an experience working with elephants,” Jaebum quipped, his back to the three of them as he cooked a very late dinner for the four of them. Jaebum just got home after a convention and a shoot in Thailand, and, and he quoted Jackson, _it’s been years since we last got together so let’s eat! At my house! Mark’s treat!_ , so there they all were, gathered albeit their busy schedules.

There was huffing, and Jackson imitating Jinyoung’s whining, before Mark spoke again. “Hey, tell me about that guy who asked if you could model for their clothing line.”

Jaebum laughed, turned the fire on low heat, before turning around to face the three. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming. It was nice of him to offer, but I was just so surprised that I ended up laughing loudly in his face. I had to go back to the shoot before I had the chance to explain, but he offered dinner and there I told him I couldn’t do it because I prefer working behind the camera and—“

Suddenly, there was a hand on his nape, a gasp, and a pair of lips on his own.

The chorused gasp was from Mark and Jackson, but the hand on his nape and the lips on his own were unmistakably Jinyoung’s.

Although Jackson hooted after a momentary shock, that didn’t stop Jinyoung from devouring his lips, the two of them almost making out in front of their friends before a gagging sound familiarly like Jackson’s pulled them away from each other.

Jinyoung’s left hand stayed proprietarily on the small of Jaebum’s back, pulling him closer, while his right thumb swiped at Jaebum’s lower lip, all the while ignoring the appalled looks Mark and Jackson were giving them.

“Okay, okay, we get it, sheesh,” Jackson muttered after five minutes of radio silence, while Mark only smiled at the two of them, shrugging nonchalantly. “No need to be so jealous when your not-boyfriend starts talking about having dinner with another guy.”

Jinyoung ignored him in favor of staring at Jaebum some more, and Jaebum wanted to say something, but he was swept off his feet and could only stare back at Jinyoung.

They’d been seeing each other since the day they were introduced, the small exchange of _hi, hello_ developing into full-blown conversations the following morning over coffee, and their relationship, albeit vague and undefined, went uphill from there.

Their friends had told them there always had been some sort of tension between them, and Jaebum felt it too—something inarticulate, but most definitely palpable. They never talked about it, but Jaebum knew Jinyoung could feel it too.

And maybe, the night Jinyoung kissed Jaebum for the first time, was the turning point they were both waiting for.

 

\--

 

Jinyoung has his face on Jaebum’s neck while still being carried, the two of them traversing the bungalow and heading towards the bedroom with Jinyoung occasionally nipping at Jaebum’s skin, languidly kissing the exposed flesh. Once inside, Jaebum stops walking and leans on the closed door.

Jinyoung looks up.

“I’m nervous,” Jaebum admits.

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything, but he plants himself on his feet and kisses Jaebum on the cheek, offering a sweet smile after.

And then he’s taking off Jaebum’s coat.

 

\--

 

“Wait,” Jackson freaked out one morning over coffee, with Jaebum sitting across him and Jinyoung asleep and curled on Jaebum’s lap, “so you’re telling me you two never had sex yet? _Like ever?_ ”

“Yes,” Jaebum informed him, sipping from his mug, “what’s so surprising with that?”

“How long have you known each other?”

“Four years,” Jaebum answered.

“Four years and three months, actually, but okay,” Jinyoung mumbled from his sleep, and Jaebum patted his hair soothingly.

“And how long have you two been together?”

“That would be—“

“ _Jackson_ ,” Jinyoung called, suddenly awake. “We’ve talked about this. We’re not together.”

“Oh, right,” Jaebum followed, his tone that of someone who just realized something, “we’re not together.”

Jackson looked at their tangled limbs judgingly, before he forced out an _ok…ay_.

 

\--

 

That night, Jinyoung is wearing an odd pair of clothes: a velvet coat over a plain black shirt and leather jeans, but somehow, he made it work for himself, and Jaebum admits he spent a good part of the dinner staring at him—especially on his shoulders, which looked a bit wider than Jaebum remembers.

At thirty-five, Jinyoung is no longer the pure, sweet, innocent Nation’s First Love that he was ten years ago. At thirty-five, Jinyoung is everything anyone would want, desire; at thirty five, he’s the pinnacle of every girl and guy’s dreams, but at the moment, he’s everything that makes Jaebum tremble.

In comparison to Jaebum’s subtle shaking, Jinyoung looks calm, confident. He has taken off Jaebum’s coat with ease, and with his finger hooked on the neckline of Jaebum’s V-cut shirt, Jinyoung has Jaebum pliant against him. Once they are close enough, Jinyoung kisses Jaebum by his jaw, tracing the path down to his neck, before he rests his forehead by the junction on Jaebum’s shoulder.

“Tell me when you’re ready,” he whispers the exact same words Jaebum told him years ago, taking hold of Jaebum’s shaking hands and intertwining their fingers.

 

\--

 

“Why haven’t we had sex yet?”

Jaebum, from where he was looking through videos from their recent vacation after fifteen months of not seeing each other, looked at Jinyoung. The younger was drying his hair while trying to wear his shirt, which he struggled with, so Jaebum stood up and helped. “Because Jackson will finally get the answer he wants and we don’t want to give him the satisfaction,” he replied as he looked for Jinyoung’s arms so they’d go through the holes on the sleeves.

As their hands pulled Jaebum’s shirt down Jinyoung’s body, the younger smiled at him. “Right.”

 

\--

 

It feels like an eternity passed when Jaebum lifts Jinyoung’s chin up and kisses him. His hands are no longer trembling, and as Jinyoung feels him relax with the languid pace he set their kiss to be, he lets go of Jaebum’s hands.

Jaebum’s right hand finds its place on the soft edges of Jinyoung’s hair the same time Jinyoung steps a foot backwards, and he keeps it there and rests his left on Jinyoung’s hip as the younger continues walking back, not letting go of Jaebum’s lips.

Jinyoung stops moving when he reaches the edge of the bed, and Jaebum pulls away.

“We’re here,” the younger breathes, disbelief seeping through his voice.

Jaebum understands where Jinyoung is coming from, the same way he knows Jinyoung understands why he’s trembling a few moments back.

“Yeah,” he replies, caressing Jinyoung’s cheek with his thumb.

_Finally_ , they tell each other through their eyes, their gazes having a conversation that goes beyond the one unspoken word.

 

\--

 

Jinyoung’s third movie would be out in a few days, which meant he was almost everywhere: from the many articles on the internet to printed ads and posters on subway stations and bus stops. And now, as Jaebum switched to another channel in hopes of watching anything _but_ Jinyoung’s face, he still ended up in an entertainment channel, where Jinyoung was being interviewed.

Of course.  The Nation’s First Love would be releasing a movie, so _of course_ he’s the talk of the nation.

Defeated, Jaebum threw the remote and settled his head on Jinyoung’s thigh, the condensation on the tub of Jinyoung’s ice cream falling drop after drop on his face. His eyes were glued on the screen, but not really paying attention to anything but the familiar-looking eyeglasses on Jinyoung’s face. He let out a _huh_ , which Jinyoung noticed as his nose scrunched in a silent chuckle.

And then it’s _that_ part of the interview again.

“So tell us, what’s your ideal type?”

Jaebum closed his eyes and chorused with Jinyoung’s reply on screen, even going as far as mimicking the younger’s voice, “ _I just want someone who would make me unable to look away from them_.” Jaebum jumped up from where he was lying down to throw an accusing glare at Jinyoung, ignoring the rest of the interview. “Why do you keep on saying that? For someone so smart, you’re quite unoriginal. You didn’t even paraphrase my words.”

Jinyoung chuckled, his eyes teasing. They were on their senior year in university when Jinyoung heard the exact same words from Jaebum during that faux press conference for their university film festival. All releases that year were about love, and the question was bound to come, but the response Jaebum gave was, although unforeseen, not totally unexpected.

The question was thrown in haste to Jaebum, and it didn’t even take a second before his eyes found Jinyoung in the crowd and the words spilled out of his lips.

It was one of those moments that Jaebum would never forget—mostly because Jinyoung always reminded him every chance he got.

“You’re so obsessed with me,” Jinyoung kidded, and although _obsessed_ sounded a bit inappropriate, Jaebum couldn’t even deny—from then until now.

To distract himself away from Jinyoung’s prying eyes, Jaebum took Jinyoung’s spoon and scooped from the tub, before Jinyoung broke his silence again.

“What do you even like about me,” he asked, faking nonchalance. The twitching of his eyebrows gave him away, the younger obviously anticipating for whatever Jaebum would say.

Jaebum’s spoon stopped midway when he heard the question, and slowly, he pushed it towards Jinyoung’s mouth instead. Jinyoung was watching his every move with keen eyes, silently pulling an answer out of him. It’s not until Jinyoung opened his mouth to take the ice cream with a petulant pout that Jaebum replied, “So, where do I start?”

 

\--

 

“Take this off for me,” Jinyoung tells Jaebum, none of his sarcasm present, his voice all soft edges. He lifts the hem of Jaebum’s shirt with a finger, and Jaebum obliges, not entirely capable of denying any requests coming from the younger.

From where he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, Jinyoung caresses every inch of flesh that Jaebum exposes as he lifts his shirt up, the younger’s hands already splayed on his stomach by the time he gets the shirt off him. Jinyoung is openly staring at him, his eyes roaming with his hands. It doesn’t take long before Jinyoung anchors his arm around Jaebum’s shoulder, pulling him down to kiss him full on the lips. Even though they’re starting to lose their clothes, their kisses don’t go beyond gentle; their tongues start to explore further, to places they’ve never been into in so long, but still gentle nevertheless.

Jinyoung’s mouth leaves Jaebum after a moment, and he swallows a lump when Jinyoung attaches his lips on his jaw, kissing its path down to Jaebum’s neck, nipping a bruise on his collarbones.

As Jinyoung’s lips travel down, Jaebum feels his hands follow suit, and as Jinyoung kisses Jaebum’s stomach that quivers beneath the younger’s lips, his hand traces the edge of his pants, before he opens his legs to place Jaebum between his legs, pulling him by the belt loop.

Their pace is languid; their movements careful. With his hands dangerously close to groping Jaebum’s cock, Jinyoung looks up, a silent question in his eyes. Jaebum nods, _of course he nods_ , and then Jinyoung is unzipping his pants, pulling them down with his undergarment, exposing his erection.

Jinyoung looks like he’s about to swallow Jaebum’s entire length in, and Jaebum’s knees buckle at the attention his cock is getting, but the younger seems to notice as he gives Jaebum’s member a chaste kiss. Jaebum gulps. He threads his fingers through Jinyoung’s soft locks, and when the younger looks up, Jaebum kisses him on the cheek and whispers _I’ll be_ fine. Jinyoung chuckles, before he slowly takes Jaebum in his warm hands, slender fingers working him up.

If Jinyoung’s hand is warm on his length, then his mouth is exponentially warmer. Every time Jinyoung hollows his cheek to take Jaebum deeper, Jaebum intakes a sharp breath, careful not to tug on Jinyoung’s hair too hard. It’s too much to handle all at once, the stimulations too overwhelming for Jaebum—Jinyoung’s fingers between his ass cheeks; the soft fingers tickling the inside of Jaebum’s thighs; and the heat surrounding his length.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says, guttural.

In response, Jaebum feels vibrations against his throbbing length, his cock hitting Jinyoung’s throat.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says again, more breath and less comprehensible.

Jinyoung hums again, and this time, the vibrations tip Jaebum off the edge and he’s coming, deep huffs of breath leaving his gaping mouth.

 

\--

 

Jinyoung was still a rookie actor, and even with his roles still not going more than the second lead guy, he had become the personification of a dream guy to many—tousled hair, mischievous eyes, pink lips. But from where Jinyoung was sleeping facing Jaebum and his back to the open bedside lamp, Jaebum realized he preferred seeing Jinyoung like that—his beauty unadulterated, his soul peeled off of pretense.

Jaebum had never seen Jinyoung literally naked yet, but with the way Jinyoung opened up to Jaebum and bared his thoughts, he thought that’s the kind of intimacy Jaebum would never get tired of sharing with Jinyoung.

Maybe that’s their definition of intimacy. Not physical touching, not having sex—not making love. Maybe it’s with Jinyoung’s 2AM messages about his dreams and fear; maybe it’s with the way Jinyoung gave Jaebum his attention when so many of his fangirls asked for it.

And maybe, _maybe_ , intimacy didn’t always have to be that one person naked and writhing on the bed; maybe everything had to do with the person at the back of one’s mind, occupying all and any space despite all distractions.

 

\--

 

Jinyoung has his head pushed back, his neck exposed for Jaebum to bite at. He takes that offer, biting and soothing the soft flesh until Jinyoung heaves short breaths, Jaebum’s hands taking their time ridding Jinyoung of his clothes.

They continue kissing, the only time they pull away being that brief moment that Jaebum has to pull Jinyoung’s shirt over his head. Jaebum is butt-naked at this point, and Jinyoung pulls him even closer to his body by his pelvis, his thumb drawing spirals on his skin. They’ve been kissing for a while now, but the simple gesture of pulling him towards his body as he subtly locks his ankles at the back of his legs seems to be the most intimate, and Jaebum can’t help himself but lean his forehead on Jinyoung’s shoulder, the younger’s breath fanning hotly against his nape.

Jinyoung moves up, dragging Jaebum along, and even then, they continue kissing, Jaebum’s hands refusing to let go of Jinyoung. The younger’s legs are still tangled with Jaebum’s, and they both hiss in between kisses every time Jinyoung’s clothed erection touches his exposed cock, the rest of their guttural groans being swallowed by each other in a kiss.

It takes a few pleas coming out of Jinyoung’s lips before Jaebum leaves his mouth, allowing Jinyoung to breath out moans and Jaebum’s name as his kisses go lower, until he’s kissing junction of Jinyoung’s thighs, biting purples and pinks on Jinyoung’s paleness.

It seems _so them_ when Jinyoung cackles at how Jaebum’s struggles to take off Jinyoung’s tight pants, the younger reveling on Jaebum’s impatient grunts. It takes a few minutes before the fabric is flying across the room, Jaebum’s throw too forceful.

“I’m going to burn those pants, I swear,” Jaebum says, heaving a sigh as he props himself on his elbows, his forehead resting on Jinyoung’s stomach.

“Hey, hey,” Jinyoung calls with a laugh, before he lifts himself from the bed and takes Jaebum’s face in his hands, giving small kisses to his lips. Jaebum forgets about the whole ordeal then and relaxes—until he’s panting again as Jinyoung grinds up to meet him halfway, their lengths rubbing against each other.

Their kiss becomes breathy and open-mouthed as their grinding becomes more erratic and urgent, and Jaebum is so afraid he’ll bite Jinyoung until he bleeds so he stops altogether, tucking Jinyoung’s head under his chin as he allows the younger to grind against him in his own pace, his name coming out of Jinyoung’s mouth like a ragged breath.

 

\--

 

Jaebum’s gaze every time he saw Jinyoung in designer and haute couture clothes was never faltering—gazes that seemed like silent praises of how aesthetically pleasing to the eyes Jinyoung was. But the warmth and unspoken fondness in his dark orbs were nowhere near those whenever Jinyoung wore Jaebum’s clothes.

Every time the younger did so, there’s a triumphant glee in Jaebum’s heart. Like seeing Jinyoung in his clothes was the same as seeing Jinyoung with a huge placard that told everyone how he belonged to Jaebum.

Jaebum utterly loved the way his larger clothes enveloped Jinyoung’s fragile stature; loved the way his button-downs made it seem like Jinyoung was naked underneath.

“What?” Jinyoung asked, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. He was trying to cook yet again, and although Jaebum already knew his food would be terrible without having to eat it, he’d still finish whatever concoction Jinyoung would place on his plate.

“Nothing,” Jaebum replied. “I’m just,” a pause, and Jinyoung lifted one eyebrow up, “visually enjoying you.”

Jinyoung always felt an unfamiliar need to bully Jaebum every time he would spit out anything sappy, but now was Jaebum’s turn to relent on Jinyoung’s embarrassed blush, the younger turning around too quickly, but not quickly enough that Jaebum caught the corner of his lips lifting up into a smile.

 

\--

 

Even with the warm feeling of Jinyoung curled against him, even with the obvious thumping as Jinyoung recovers from his second orgasm, and even with Jinyoung’s tight cling on him, Jaebum’s little spoon gripping at his snaked arms like it’s his lifeline, Jaebum still can’t believe everything is real.

They’re twenty-one when they were introduced to each other, and now that they’re thirty-five and about to settle down, Jaebum still thinks that Jinyoung’s presence is just a dream—because that’s what Jinyoung is: a dream come true.

If ever he is real, that is.

Unknowingly, a tear falls from Jaebum’s eye to Jinyoung’s nape.

“Hey,” Jinyoung says, his voice soft against the stillness of the night. He turns around, holding onto both of Jaebum’s pinkies. “I’m real; I’m right here,” he continues, knowing full well what’s running in Jaebum’s mind. It’s at times like these that he allows himself to think that Jinyoung is his soulmate, that one person who knows whatever he’s feeling or thinking without explicitly saying it.

Another tear falls from his eyes, and this time, Jinyoung kisses it.

“Don’t cry on me now,” the younger says, his voice light. He bumps his forehead against Jaebum’s own. “There’s no backing out from me now, Im Jaebum. We’re getting married whether you like how I perform in bed or not, you hear me? You had your chance of running away; I’m not letting you now.”

Jaebum laughs, his eyes closing as he hugs Jinyoung tighter. He feels a kiss on the part of his chest where a wild thumping is going on, and he’s feeling so soft when suddenly he feels Jinyoung’s teeth on his nipple, biting hard.

“What the—“ He almost throws Jinyoung off the bed in his surprise, his arms jolting reflexively after feeling an immense pain. “Did you seriously just do that?”

There’s a naughty smile playing on Jinyoung’s lips before he speaks, “That hurts?”

“What do you think?”

Maybe it’s the years of experience, but Jaebum is still amazed every time Jinyoung turns from mischievous to loving in just a snap. “Now you know you’re not dreaming.”

And then Jinyoung is kissing him on his lips again.

 

\--

 

“I am so scared. What if we mess up?”

“We won’t mess up.”

“We will. At some point, we’ll fuck things up. And I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me.”

“I will—when I blow things up because I’m stupid and petty and selfish.”

“We don’t have to be together now if it scares you this much.”

A breath. “Okay.”

A smile. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

 

\--

 

Jinyoung has his legs trapping Jaebum as they breathe in each other’s spaces—the movements unstopping, exhaustion an alien concept. They’re both hard again, and Jaebum is holding onto Jinyoung’s ribs to steady him. He’s failing in his attempt to cease all of Jinyoung’s movements albeit momentary, and even when the younger peels off one of Jaebum’s hands from his torso to bring his fingers to his mouth, he continues moving—the pressure and friction unwavering.

How Jinyoung realized that Jaebum doesn’t have the supplies is beyond him. Jinyoung’s grip on his wrist is firm, his mouth on his fingers unforgiving. Jaebum gasps as Jinyoung lathers his fingers with too much saliva, his tongue insistently going through each of the four fingers he took in his mouth.

When Jinyoung lets go of Jaebum’s hand, he maneuvers himself and bends a little atop Jaebum, his ass in the air and his teeth grazing Jaebum’s shoulder.

One finger in, and Jinyoung lets out a muffled cry, his breath warm against Jaebum’s skin. Two fingers in, and Jinyoung starts shaking from where his knees trap Jaebum’s waist, his entrance tight as Jaebum scissors his fingers to open him up. Three fingers in, and Jinyoung is biting hard on Jaebum’s shoulder, his shaking becoming more aggressive with every thrust of Jaebum’s fingers.

And when Jaebum hits Jinyoung’s prostate, he’s screaming, profanities and Jaebum’s name a tangled noise from his lips.

Once he adjusts with Jaebum’s finger moving in and out of him, Jinyoung starts pushing back on Jaebum’s fingers, moving himself a bit upright so each thrust inside pushes against his prostate, his unsuppressed noise encouraging Jaebum to move faster, to increase his pace and give Jinyoung more.

Jaebum’s fingers graze Jinyoung’s prostate some more, until he exhales Jaebum’s name loudly and he comes again.

 

\--

 

It was one of those rare nights when the whole apartment was silent: no incessant calls coming on both of their phones from anyone, neither of them having a schedule the next day. The day was as lazy as it could get, and they spent most of it talking about everything and nothing, bags of chips and takeout boxes already littering the floor even before nighttime came and they started drinking, bottles after bottles of soju adding to the trash.

Jinyoung was already flushed with all the drinking, and Jaebum’s words started to become slurry, but Jinyoung’s were clear when he asked the question that could make or break whatever they had between them.

“What becomes of me if I don’t want to be your friend anymore?”

Jaebum just stared at him, not knowing the answer himself. He didn’t say anything, didn’t want to say anything in case it was just one of Jinyoung’s drunken ramblings.

Jinyoung, obviously impatient, spoke again. “Okay, an easier question. Would you get mad at me if I kiss you right now?”

Jaebum didn’t even have to blink before he uttered, “No.”

And then Jinyoung lunged down and kissed Jaebum full on the mouth. Jinyoung tasted of liquor and hot temptation. Intoxicating. Tempting. Jaebum loved kissing and being kissed by Jinyoung—his lips burn in the fire of his kiss, his body melting against his heat.

Jinyoung was an illegal drug, and Jaebum couldn’t seem to have enough of him.

As the younger pulled away, there was a brief laugh, before he’s swiping Jaebum’s lip with his tongue. “For someone who doesn’t know what to do with—“ Jinyoung gestured vaguely between them “—this, you kiss back quite intensely.” He laughed again, before he cleared the floor behind him and threw himself haphazardly on the carpet, covering his eyes with his forearm. “You better have an answer to my question when we wake up.”

That night felt like the longest night in his life, but at some point Jaebum fell asleep, and when he woke up, he was alone, but not feeling alone as there was a steady flow of water from the faucet somewhere in the apartment. The sun was up already, and his head was throbbing a bit, but he managed to bring himself to the bathroom.

Jaebum met Jinyoung’s eyes on the mirror, and even when Jaebum took on the space on the sink after Jinyoung finished, their eyes were still silently conversing, until Jinyoung voiced out whatever was bothering him that Jaebum saw in them the moment their eyes met.

“So,” he prodded, taking a seat on the covered toilet bowl, “I’m waiting.”

“I thought you were too drunk to remember,” Jaebum replied as he spat out the water from his mouth, wiping his face clean. He turned around and faced Jinyoung, his back against the cold marble.

“Stop stalling,” Jinyoung teased, his legs kicking Jaebum’s shin.

“You were never just a friend to start with,” Jaebum confessed, eyes unyielding.

“No way,” Jinyoung breathed, disbelief evident in his voice. “ _Even then_?”

“I was twenty-one when Youngjae introduced you to me at that term-ender party, and even when I thought you two were dating with how you clung to each other, I was already interested.”

Jinyoung’s eyes were beaming, like he wanted to jump at Jaebum in glee, but something was stopping him.

And then Jaebum internally laughed when he realized what it was, Jinyoung’s next words telling him exactly without explicitly spilling. “So, about my question…?” Of course. Jinyoung, always the persistent one.

“I’m sorry, but what was it ag—yah, don’t—what the hell stop kicking me—alright, alright!” Jaebum wrapped his arms around Jinyoung to stop him from moving, their faces inches away. “So, what becomes of you if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, huh.”

“…”

“My best friend.”

Jinyoung bit Jaebum on the arm.

Jaebum laughed. “Like I said, you’ve always been more than a friend to me.”

“I don’t want that. I don’t want to be more than just your friend. Don’t put our relationship in a spectrum; label us.”

Jaebum gave Jinyoung’s lips a chaste kiss. “Do us both a favor and do that more often, okay? Tell me what you want. Although my guesses of what you were hinting at were sometimes right, I might read some things wrong, so I need you to tell me what you want, okay, Jinyoung-ah?”

Jinyoung nodded, his face looking brighter.

“We’re twenty-eight now, not anymore the age for trial and error. I don’t want something temporary; I want this – us, _you_ – for the rest of my life, and I don’t want to lose you over some dumb misunderstanding, so communicate with me, okay?”

“You talk too much,” Jinyoung said, a giggle punctuating his remark. “So, what becomes of me, now?”

“I don’t know,” Jaebum drawled, bumping his nose with Jinyoung’s left and right. “My boyfriend, maybe?”

Jinyoung’s smile was the brightest Jaebum had ever seen.

 

\--

 

Jaebum realizes how good Jinyoung’s stamina is when, moments after Jinyoung comes, the younger manhandles them both so that Jaebum’s on top of him, one of Jinyoung’s legs hooked around Jaebum’s torso.

“Don’t you need time to breathe?” Jaebum asks, watching Jinyoung’s sweat drip down from the ends of his hair to his neck, his chest up to the tips of his ears flushed crimson.

“I’ve been waiting for _so long_ ,” Jinyoung retorts, and it’s the only pause Jaebum gets before he takes in a deep breath, Jinyoung’s name coming out of his lips, guttural and surprised. Jinyoung takes his cock in his hands and puts it in himself, not even pausing to take Jaebum inch by inch.

By the time Jaebum holds onto the headboard for support, Jinyoung’s already pushing down his length, warm and tight around him. It’s then that Jaebum slows down, keeping his member inside Jinyoung for a moment after thrusting in. “I don’t want to rush it.”

Jinyoung stares at Jaebum, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes with the pain he ignored earlier in favor of taking Jaebum all in. Jaebum wipes them away, kisses the tip of Jinyoung’s nose, and moves the slightest bit, reveling in the long sigh that becomes a moan with every surface of his length being dragged out of Jinyoung, his clenching making the pull much more felt.

Holding Jinyoung in an embrace, Jaebum continues his slow pace, pulling in and out of Jinyoung per inch, stalling and taking his time. He punctuates each of Jinyoung’s moan with a kiss, the younger’s lower lip swollen with how much he bites it after every call of Jaebum’s name.

It takes much effort not to drive relentlessly in and out of Jinyoung, but hearing the younger’s voice get raspy with every push and pull and the feeling of Jinyoung’s grip on his arms as he nears his climax make it all worth it.

Jinyoung breathes out Jaebum’s name in that sweet, loving voice of his as he comes, his name sounding like an _I love you_ more than anything else. Jaebum comes soon after, kissing an _I love you, too_ against Jinyoung’s lips as he does.

 

\--

 

They were at the airport, their group of four gathered as they bid Jaebum farewell. He’d be gone for three years, taking on a huge project on the west, but Jaebum couldn’t find it in himself to feel a little bit sad. If anything, he was excited. Excited for the project and excited to be done with it.

Because after this huge project, Jaebum would resign. The plans for his photography studio were being polished already, and by the time he came back, he was looking forward to opening the studio immediately.

Three years was three long years, but Jaebum’s excitement overpowered all feelings and he had a feeling that those years would be gone in a snap, and he couldn’t wait.

But for now, he had to deal with Jinyoung’s whining.

“You talked me into accepting this project, didn’t you?”

Jinyoung pouted. “But still…”

“I told you, always tell me what you want. Do you want me to stay? Because I will.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows twitch. “No…”

Jaebum kissed him, placating. “Then what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing…” Jaebum stared at him. “But I just… have three conditions before you leave.”

Playing with Jinyoung’s beanie, Jaebum hummed, “Tell me.”

“First, don’t fall in love with someone else.”

Jaebum laughed boyishly at Jinyoung’s childish request, but it was undeniably adorable to hear Jinyoung tell Jaebum explicitly to not have thoughts of any other person but him. “Okay, easy enough. What’s next?”

Jinyoung, unmoved by Jackson’s gagging sounds and motions beside them, continued, “Second, don’t forget about me and your promise of coming back.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing him his promise. Jaebum knew Jinyoung just wanted to repeatedly assure himself that Jaebum would never forget, but he kept quiet as he kept his stare on Jinyoung who looked like he was having difficulties trying to verbalize his final request out loud.

“And lastly,” Jinyoung started, his chest heaving up and down as he inhaled and exhaled sharply. From where his fists were balled on Jaebum’s shirt, he opened them and spread his fingers, feeling the _thump thump thump_ of Jaebum’s heart on his palm, the _thump thump thump_ becoming less intense as the vibration travelled to the tips of his fingers. “Marry me when you get back.”


End file.
